I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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