Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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