i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
