we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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