how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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