She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My ATM looks so different sober.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
