So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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