when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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