Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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