You're so nebulous sometimes
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
