i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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