You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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