If i come over, it means nothing
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
