Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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