Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
