She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
