Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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