we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
wow bdsm is so cute
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
