So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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