I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
