On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Come see our sink grown plant.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
