Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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