I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
