Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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