He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
