He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
