if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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