Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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