I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
