I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
