the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
People with herpes should wear stickers.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
