I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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