Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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