She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
