Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
