two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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