I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Couch. On fire.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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