if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
