...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
