ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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