Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you would pick up someone in the library
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
