woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
