her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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