Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
