Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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