I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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