dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
