I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
