i already hear my dad disowning me
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
