how can u be prego again
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
