i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
