and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
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