why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
