so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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