Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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