idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
